Releasing Guilt and Embracing Permission: Choosing Joy Over Obligation

I used to carry guilt like a constant companion—a shadow that followed me through every decision, no matter how small. Leaving a marriage? Guilt. Choosing a simpler lifestyle for my son? Guilt. Taking time for myself when there’s so much else to be done? Guilt again. For years, guilt was the price I paid for every moment of joy, every breath of freedom. It was as if choosing myself, even in small ways, meant I was somehow neglecting someone else.

But lately, I’m learning to ask a different question: Who does this guilt serve?

The answer, I’ve realized, is no one. Guilt doesn’t make me a better mother. It doesn’t deepen my relationships. It doesn’t inspire growth, creativity, or compassion. All it does is keep me tethered to a narrative that no longer fits—the story that I’m not allowed to choose joy unless I’ve first satisfied everyone else’s needs.

Rewriting My Story

Releasing guilt isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a practice, a deliberate choice that I make daily. And it starts with permission. I’m learning to give myself permission to exist outside of other people’s expectations. Permission to have wants and needs of my own. Permission to feel joy without guilt, even when life feels complicated and unfinished.

But most of all, I’m giving myself permission to choose my own story. For so long, I lived according to a script that said being a good woman meant being self-sacrificing. That being a good mother meant always putting myself last. That being a good partner meant bending until I nearly broke. But those stories were never mine. They were inherited, passed down, absorbed unconsciously until they felt like truth.

Now, I’m choosing to rewrite those stories. To say that being a good woman means being whole. That being a good mother means modeling joy and self-respect. And that being a good partner—whenever that part of my life reemerges—means showing up fully as me, unburdened by guilt or fear.

The Power of Permission

Permission is powerful. It’s a quiet rebellion against everything we’re told we should be. Giving myself permission to choose joy over obligation isn’t about being selfish; it’s about being self-honoring. It’s about trusting that my needs matter, too—that I’m allowed to enjoy my life, to have boundaries, to create space for my own dreams.

And when I do, I notice that I show up differently. I’m more present with my son, more engaged in my work, more connected to my own sense of purpose. I have more energy for others because I’m not constantly depleting myself to meet their expectations.

Living Lightly

Letting go of guilt is an ongoing process, one that requires constant practice. But with each permission slip I write myself, I feel a little lighter. And as I release the weight of guilt, I’m discovering that joy is not something to be earned. It’s something to be allowed. It’s something that grows when I create space for it—just like everything else in my minimalist journey.

So, here’s my new mantra: I give myself permission to be happy. I give myself permission to rest. I give myself permission to change my mind, to make mistakes, and to choose myself. I give myself permission to live lightly.

Because the less guilt I carry, the more joy I have room to hold.

XoXo,

Sia