The Art of Being a Beginner: Allowing Myself to Learn, Unlearn, and Start Over

There’s a certain vulnerability that comes with starting over—one that I used to avoid at all costs. I was always the kind of person who needed to know what I was doing, to feel competent and in control. But minimalism has stripped me down to my essentials, and in doing so, it has forced me to embrace a new role: that of the beginner.



There’s something both terrifying and liberating about being a beginner again in your thirties. When you start over, you don’t just leave behind old habits and routines; you let go of the person you thought you were. You make space for what’s next, even if you have no idea what that looks like yet. And in the process, you learn to release the need to have all the answers.

The Courage to Unlearn

Unlearning is the hardest part of starting over. It’s easy to add new things to our lives—new habits, new relationships, new dreams—but it’s much harder to peel away what’s been ingrained for years. I’m unlearning my fear of uncertainty, my need to appear polished, my tendency to measure my worth by my productivity. I’m unlearning the old stories about who I should be, so I can make space for the woman I’m becoming.

And yet, being a beginner means embracing discomfort. It means stumbling, making mistakes, and allowing myself to be messy. It means showing up, again and again, without the safety net of experience to catch me. But it’s in this space of unknowing that I’ve found the most freedom. When you don’t have a map, you’re free to explore without a destination. You’re free to try, to fail, and to try again.

Letting Go of Perfectionism

The biggest lesson I’m learning is that perfectionism has no place in a beginner’s journey. There is no “perfect” way to start over—only a willingness to take the first step. And then the next. And then the next. I used to think that if I couldn’t do something well, I shouldn’t do it at all. But that mindset kept me from so many things—from new hobbies, new careers, new relationships—because I was so afraid of not being good enough.

Now, I’m letting go of the need to be good. I’m allowing myself to be bad at things, to not have it all figured out, to start at the bottom and slowly work my way up. Whether it’s learning a new skill, redefining my identity, or simply navigating life as a single mother, I’m learning to embrace the awkwardness, the uncertainty, and the inevitable failures.

The Beauty of Being Unfinished

Being a beginner means being unfinished. It means being in a state of becoming—always evolving, always growing. And there’s something beautiful about that. Because when you allow yourself to be unfinished, you also allow yourself to be free. Free to change your mind, free to pivot, free to try on new identities and new ways of being.

I’m discovering that there’s a softness in starting over, a grace in letting yourself be a beginner again. There’s no rush, no pressure to “get it right.” There’s only the unfolding—the gentle process of learning, unlearning, and becoming.

So I’m learning to see this season of my life not as a setback, but as a beginning. I’m learning to love the feeling of being a beginner—not because it’s easy, but because it’s real. Because it’s in these moments of uncertainty and vulnerability that I’m finding the truest version of myself.

XoXo,

Sia